Kakšna je tvoja zvezda?
Ko se rodiš, si enak, kot vsi ostali. Toda, ko odraščaš, vse bolj postajaš ti. Zrasteš v tebe. Pa se nekega dne vprašaš, do kod si prispel? Pravijo, da je nekdo rojen pod srečno zvezdo. Kakšna je tvoja zvezda? Se ti pogosto smeje? In, kako sploh izbere, koga bo naredila srečnega? Čeprav vem, da se v Vesolju, ne zgodi nič slučajno. Iz principa se nikoli ne pritožujem. Tudi, če mislim, da imam dober razlog za to, preusmerim misli. To lekcijo sem se naučila še od takrat, ko sem se pritoževala nad vsem. Za vse sem našla razlog. Vse te majhne stvari, delajo neravnotežje v Vesolju, o katerih se zvezde toliko pogajajo.
In tako se zgodi, da je eden od favoritov na svetovnem prvenstvu nogometa, poražen. Prideš na teren in ciljaš na gol, kot Messi ali Ronaldo in vsi te poznajo. Vsi od tebe pričakujejo, da si najboljši, ker si že bil najboljši na prejšnji tekmi ali prvenstvu in, ker si treniral in treniral, da bi bil tukaj, kjer si.
Toda, to spet ni dovolj, ker ne zmagujejo vedno isti. Neki porazi so težji in neki se zgodijo, ker ima nasprotna ekipa več sreče. Nekateri igralci se trudijo, da se prebijejo do nasprotnega gola, da dosežejo zadetek in bodo vedno vpisani v zgodovino nogometa in jih bo srečna zvezda nemoteno spremljala. Nekateri dajo avtogol, nekateri se ne znajdejo, ko dobijo žogo, a nekateri dajo slučajno gol. Takšna je igra. Takšno je življenje. Tako lahko spoznamo tudi popolnega moškega ali popolno žensko. Vendar, kaj je sploh popolni moški? Kaj je popolno svetovno prvenstvo?
Verjamem, da ima vsak svojo verzijo. Ampak, katerokoli opcijo ste si zamislili, začne sčasoma bledeti in izgubljati svojo vrednost, ker ni to to, ker ni nobenih preprek. Zamislite si, da vsaki dan, ko se Messi zbudi, točno ve, da bo zmagal na vseh tekmah. Zamislite si, da veste vsaki dan, ko se zbudite, da vam bo uspelo. Messi bi verjetno prenehal igrati nogomet. Ne bi bilo več srečnih zvezd. In, kakšen smisel bi še sploh imelo življenje?
Nikoli nisem iskala popolnega moškega, ampak nasprotno. Namreč, popolni moški, popolno svetovno prvenstvo in popolno življenje imajo nekaj skupnega – predvidljivi so in s tem tudi dolgočasni, ne – navdušojoči, ne – edinstveni. Svetovno prvenstvo bi bilo nesmiselno, če bi bili vedno isti najboljši. Zgledalo bi, kot bi gledali vedno isti turnir. Navijači ne bi navijali in celo bi upadla prodaja dresov. Namreč, kaj bi bilo življenje brez presenečenj in preprek? Naša narava je takšna, da si sami radi delamo probleme. Tam, kjer jih ni ali tam, kjer so, ker vedno nekaj manjka. Vedno je nečesa premalo ali nečesa preveč. Samo življenja ni nikoli dovolj. Vendar spet, dovolj je poslušati sebe in vedeti, kaj iščeš in poslušati otroka v sebi. Otroka, ki je imel to srečo, da se je sploh rodil in prišel na teren in ciljal na gol – za zmago do naslednje prepreke.
Tea Snežana Novoselnik
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